Who Is The Real Enemy?

Photo by Aurelio Arias is registered under a Creative Commons License.

Not too long ago, I preached through the book of Jonah at Redeeming Life Church.  (You can listen to those sermons here.) As most pastors do, I broke it into four sermons, one chapter per week.  At this point, I'm not so sure that's the best way to break it up, but it works.  

When most of us think of Jonah we think of a great fish.  Some of us start debating the possibility of a big fish before we even try to comprehend the God who created and appointed that fish.  And we often forget that God also appointed a tempest, a plant, a wind, a worm, and most importantly -- a man to go proclaim God's message.  

I'm still struck by how reluctant Jonah was.  He was afraid, yes; but he was also unwilling.  He was unwilling to see or be a part of God mission to forgive and save Jonah's perceived enemies.  But who was the real enemy? 

It's hard to avoid the complexities in our world today.  We wrestle with issues of gay marriage, abortion, other religions and cults, politics, drug dealers, pornographers, and so much more.  Watching many Christians, I wonder if they have the same heart as Jonah?  Would they rather see God destroy their 'enemies' rather than save and redeem them?  Have we become a church of Jonahs?  I hope not. I pray not. 

At the heart is a grave misunderstanding.  It seems we've forgotten who the real enemy is.  The enemy is not Planned Parenthood.  The enemy is not the LGBT community.  Society is not the enemy.  The hard life of the street is not the enemy.  Our neighbor... not the enemy.  Hollywood?  Nope.  The government?  No.  The local church? Wrong! 

1 Peter 5:8 says, "Be sober-minded; be watchful.  Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."  I wonder what would happen if a zookeeper let a lion free in your workplace?  Would you just go about your business as normal?  How about if there was a lion in your neighborhood?  I suspect you wouldn't be out mowing your lawn if there were a lion sitting on your front step stalking you. We'd be making phone calls.  We'd be going for guns.  The news media would be there.  And we probably won't be too concerned with the little things. 

We do have a real enemy.  There is a lion prowling around.  Ephesians 6:10:-20 tells us what to do: 

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak." 

Let us not forget who the real enemy is, and let us be ready when the lion comes to u

Playing the Bride

Many little girls fantasize about their future wedding day.  They dream of an amazing dress, flowers, a big beautiful cake, and dancing.  In their aspirations all eyes are on the bride.  Everybody is saying, "isn't she beautiful!"

Many little girls strive to achieve this fantasy as they grow into women.  They design their big day around the plan they've been brewing for a lifetime. It's a lot of work with little chance of living up to the expectation.  But something serious is missing--the groom.

How easy is it find a bride-to-be tasting cake, picking flowers, and planning the ceremony with the groom-to-be simply in tow?  How often do we hear, "this is the bride's day?"  I've been know to say those very words to stressed out grooms.  It seems exhausting on the bride and taxing on the groom.

As I've been 'playing at church,' or rather, working to build a core team to start another Christian congregation in the Salt Lake valley, I've felt as though our little baby church plant is like the little girl dreaming of her wedding day.  Our team is 'trying it on' with ambition and aspiration, but often what we're looking to is the trappings of the local church, not the Groom who calls the Church his bride.

It's so easy to be busy.  It's easy to chase after the 'stuff' of the local church.  Growing leaders desire to have people fellowshipping in their homes with little understanding the fellowship the Bible actually calls for.  We want to build systems that get people connected to our congregation but we don't fully grasp the necessary connection to God's Kingdom.  We want to be heard as wise but are unsure about our willingness to truly get into the messiness of real lives.  We (certainly myself included) get excited about graphics and colors and chair arrangements and sound systems and forget that none of these things have eternal significance.  Potential preachers want to stand in the pulpit and preach a good sermon with little thought of the shepherding and care that the pulpit demands.  All of this is because we hold to a worldly view of the marriage we have with Jesus.  At times we're putting the dream before the reality; we're assembling a wedding day without the Groom.

The Bible provides us with a picture of a bride and a groom.  We are the bride and Jesus is the Groom.

Ephesians 5:25-27 charges the husband to love his wife, but it also gives us a beautiful picture of Christ's love for his bride.  It reads, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish" (ESV).

Jesus makes his bride beautiful!

How much more joy might the Bride of Christ have if we would get our priorities right?  How much more beautiful would the local church be if Christ were truly our passion and the 'stuff' came second or third or somewhere else down the line?  The stuff is so tempting because we often want all eyes on us as we desire the community around us to look at our local congregations and say, "isn't it beautiful" or "isn't this church cool."  Too often church leaders and preachers (myself included) want people to say, "Wow, great sermon" or "yes, I really like the _________ here" (fill in the blank with your favorite 'stuff').

While it is so easy to say and so hard to do, I believe it's critical that we dump our dreams and fantasies of what the local church should be and look to Jesus because he is not only the groom, he is the Head of the Church.  Jesus is our senior pastor.  And the Senior Pastor cares little for the 'stuff' and much for you and me, his bride.


(If you'd like to see more about what God's Word says about Christ and the Bride, here are some chapters to get you started: Psalm 45; Isaiah 62; Matthew 25; Mark 2; Revelation 19, 21, and 22.) 

*Photo by Amy Ann Brockmeyer is used with permission. 

Don't Hate Your Job

Most people have a season at some point in life where they really don't like going to work.  In fact, some people even hate their jobs.  They don't get along with their employer, or if they are the employer they don't like their employees.  But the Bible teaches that this ought not be the case for Christians.

Risen Life Church in Salt Lake City, Utah has been journeying through the book of Ephesians and I was called upon to preach from Ephesians 6:5-9.

Ephesians 6:5-9 is often a text that gets skimmed over because readers think that the slave or the bondservant relationship to an earthy master is outdated in not relevant to life today.  They couldn't be more wrong.  In my sermon, I deal with the instructions to employees and employers.  Then I journey into what the text demonstrates as the larger Master-slave relationship we as believers have as Christians. Everybody is a slave to something, either sin or righteousness.  If Jesus is our Master than we are slaves who are truly free.  I explain this in greater detail in the sermon and you can listen by clicking on the link below.

Please take 35 minutes to listen on Ephesians 6:5-9. 

You get the opportunity to serve Christ when you go to work.  What a grand opportunity!  Remember this as you head into work and have joy in your workplace because of what Christ has done for you.


*I opened my sermon with a very brief discussion of our efforts to plant a church in the Salt Lake valley.  Risen Life is our sending church and a core team is meeting in my home as we seek God's vision for how we are to begin this new work.  My name is Bryan Catherman and if you are interested in learning more about our efforts, praying for us, financially supporting us, or joining our mission, I would love to hear from you.  You can contact me here.

Equipping Ministers - A Good Work for Denominations

Church denominations have received a beating in the past couple decades, and in some cases rightly so.  In other cases, these blows might be undeserved.  It's easy to find believers and non-believers who are quick to point out all the negative aspects of one or many denominations.  And it's equally as easy to find brothers and sisters who are excessively tied to a denomination, sometimes even above the universal Church and the advancement of the Lord's Kingdom.  Case-in-point: the polarizing effect at the mere mention of the Southern Baptist Convention.  

Jared Jenkins and I specifically discuss what a denomination is and what it is not in a podcast recorded for Salty Believer Unscripted.  We also talk about the purpose of denominations and include some pros and cons.  You can listen to that here.

Without getting into all the arguments of denominations (you can listen to a podcast on that above), I'd like to examine one way that a denomination might help fulfill Ephesians 4:11-16.  This text reads,

And he gave apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of faith and the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, but craftiness in deceitful schemes.  Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love (ESV). 

From this text, it would appear that the purpose of church leadership is to equip the saints for the work of ministry.  This is not necessarily to say that all the saints will enter a profession of full-time ministry or even some kind of formal bi-vocational ministry.  But the saints must be equipped.  And if the saints are to be equipped, the leaders should also be well equipped.

The local church is a great place for leaders to learn and grow, but it is not the only place.  Seminary is a helpful resources for pastors to develop skills and understanding.  Some denominations support seminaries.  But what about those individuals who can't attend seminary?  This is where the denomination can help.

If a denomination is the pooling together resources from a number of smaller local churches, it seems that a teacher from one local church could greatly help pastors from many local churches.  This would allow a pastor with a seminary education to share his knowledge with others.  The teacher would have the ability to equip other ministers and then together they could equip the saints.  The role of the denomination then, should be to bring these people together.

And example can been seen in Salt Lake City among the Salt Lake Baptist Association.  The SLBA has partnered with a seminary program of Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary called Contextualized Leadership Development (CLD).  At the very heart of this program is the desire to equip the saints.  They call it the Utah School of Theology.

The Utah School of Theology offers very affordable diploma programs accredited by GGBTS.  Upon the completion of the program, students receive a diploma backed by GGBTS; but along the way students receive a high quality education from seminary trained instructors.  Some of the professors are even seasoned guys with PhDs who have taught at other seminaries.  Applicants need not hold a bachelor's degree (unlike the seminary) and the courses are typically taught in the evenings. 

It's my hope that as more denominations work toward equipping the saints rather than some of the other things they do, the beatings will subside.  One way is to help train up the church leaders. And when the denominations focus on the right things, maybe the gospel will be advanced at a greater speed into the far depths of the world!

Team Ministry and the Shared Pulpit

In his book, Love Your God With All Your Mind, J.P. Moreland argues, "No one person has enough gifts, perspective, and maturity to be given the opportunity disproportionately to shape the personality and texture of the local church.  If Christ is actually the head of the church, our church structures ought to reflect that fact, and a group of undershepherds, not a senior pastor, should collectively seek His guidance in leading the congregation" (Moreland, 191).  Yet in many churches today, we have a very strong senior pastor model with very little vision, preaching, or leadership coming from anywhere else.    

The Bible however, seems to suggest that the local church should be lead from a plurality of elders with a leader among leaders.  In Paul's letter to Titus, Paul instructs Titus to appoint elders in every town and then proceeds to instruct Titus in the method of selecting men of character to fulfill this role.  Only a couple verses later, Paul refers to these elders as overseers or bishops, translated from the word ἐπίσκοπον.  In Acts 20:18, Paul assembles all the elders (plural) in the Church of Ephesus, where Timothy pastors and later (verse 28) calls them overseers or bishops taken from the plural Greek word, ἐπίσκοπους. This, however, is not to say that every pastor is an elder and every elder is a pastor, nor is it so say that all the elders and overseers are gifted in the same way, if we understand Ephesians 4:11 and 1 Corinthians 12:7-11 correctly. It does seem likely that Timothy was a leader among a leaders in the Church in Ephesus.  It was probably the same for Titus.  We see this model of a leader among leaders with the Apostles so it does stand to reason the same should hold true for elders.  While Moreland disagrees that there should be a leader among the leaders, the Bible does appear to present this picture.  It does not however suggest that the leader among leaders is the only one to provide vision, preaching, teaching, or leadership for the local church.  This should come from a team.

Furthermore, the biblical picture of ministry is in teams.  Moses was teamed with Aaron (Exodus 4), Jesus sent the 70 (or 72) out in teams of two, or ministry pairs (Luke 10), Peter and John appear to be a strong ministry team in the Book of Acts, as do Barnabas and Paul.  And think about the differences in giftings, skills, and personalities that each man brought to the team!  For example, think about that first mission trip and church planting excursion by Barnabas the encourager and Paul, the hard hitting theologian. I discuss the biblical picture of team ministry in the following video that I recorded some time ago as part of a community group leader's training process:

 So it stands to reason that the ministry of the pulpit, that is, the preaching should be shared among a team of gifted preachers.  Moreland argues for this as well, saying, "[F]or two reasons I do not think a single individual ought to preach more than half (twenty-six) of the Sundays during the year" (Moreland, 194).  His first support is that "no one person ought to have a disproportionate influence through the pulpit because, inevitably, the church will take on that person's strengths, weaknesses, and emphases" (ibid).  How easy it is to find churches that demonstrate his point!  He continues: "By rotating speakers, the body gets exposure to God's truth being poured through a number of different personalities, that is more healthy" (ibid).  One objection that may come up is that the ability to preach among those preaching is not of comparable skill, but Moreland argues that this presents an opportunity for the one of higher quality to train the one of lower quality which will actually produce a spirit of training up preachers and teachers. But this is not to say that every preacher must preach the same way and in the same style, for that would attempt to trump the calling and gifting of God upon each individual preacher.

Moreland's second argument for a shared pulpit has to do with capability.  He says, "no one who preaches week after week can do adequate study for a message or deeply process and internalize the sermon topic spiritually.  What inevitably happens is that a pastor will rely on his speaking ability and skills at putting together a message" Moreland, 194).  The sermon will actually be stronger, sturdier, and more sound because the preacher will have more time.  The result for the congregation is a well prepared sermon every week of the year that doesn't fall into the trap made in Moreland's first support.  Additionally, each preaching pastor will have ample time to minister to the flock through visitation, counseling, teaching, prayer, and personal devotion because he will not be responsible for preparing every sermon.  And the preacher can take time off to rest, rather than burn out from being in the pulpit 52 weeks of the year along with all of his other responsibilities.

I am blessed to have personal experience with a shared pulpit.  I serve on the pastoral staff at Risen Life Church where we highly value team ministry.   We have a shared pulpit between two preaching elders.  On occasion, two other pastors--myself and Jared Jenkins--have been afforded the opportunity to preach.  This summer, we are actually engaging in a four-preacher rotation as an experiment to see how we work together and how it is received by the congregation.  (At the time of this writing, I have already preached the opening sermon in the series.)  Not only has this arrangement been instrumental in the post-seminary training of Jared and I, it has allowed us to learn and grow well under two other gifted preachers.  The sermons are indeed well prepared and the variety of a two-preacher rotation lends itself as a support of Moreland's argument.  I suspect a four-preacher rotation will have a similar effect.  I can see firsthand how much a shared pulpit has allowed the primary preachers to have time to minister throughout the week as well as train up future leaders, teachers, and ministers.  Rest and time off is often not too challenging as we work in teams.  Support for one another may also be stronger.  Additionally, for the most part Risen Life Church is not built around a single pastor. If any one of us left, it would not be a serious blow to the local church, and really, that is how it should be.      
 

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1. Moreland, J.P. Love Your God With All Your Mind: The Role of Reason in the Life of the Soul. Colorado Springs, Colo: NavPress. 1997.

* Photo of the USA Lightweight 2003 World Champions is in the public domain.

Post Church?

Revisiting a group of writer-friends and their affiliated publication, I was reminded of the growing group of jaded Christians who no longer worship in any kind of church setting.  They call themselves "post-Church" as if they have somehow evolved beyond Christ's institution for his people.  "The Nones" is another name they like, taking it from the check box they would self-identify to the question of religious affiliation on a census questionnaire-- None. 

This post-Church crowd will argue that they just weren't getting what they wanted or needed from their local church community.  It wasn't a satisfying experience and the church leaders weren't providing them with the faith journey they desired.  So, they divorced their community for a different mistress, maybe a group who shares their affinity for popular issues of social justice, artistic expression, politics, dietary fads, some kind of on-line connection, or a gang with similar level of anger toward Christ's Bride.  Interestingly, these post-Christians don't seek a different local church community where they might find opportunities to connect with, grow in, and serve Christ, but instead cast off Church, big-C Church all together.  They would argue that they are still part of the Church but just hate local church.  They "love Jesus, just hate Christians."  But the truth is Jesus indwells his people and the local church is a part of the big-C Church; therefore, Jesus and his Church get tossed out too.

I've read of these new post-church communities meeting in coffee shops or homes for shared meals where a communal fellowship is touted but there is decidedly a void of any worship, teaching, Bible reading, or anything that may look like "church."  Jesus is typically intentionally or unintentionally uninvited.  Some of these gatherings will pray, but that's often the extent of it. (I wonder how God might receive the prayer of those who reject God's people as well as the institution he set up for them?)  I am familiar with a single group that sits on the post-church precipice which does, on occasion, discuss Scripture, but generally is void of any deeper study or application because in fact, they are lacking any kind of shepherd.

Indeed there is a time to divorce a fellowship.  When irreconcilable differences surface in the essential theological matters one should talk with the leaders to consider if finding a different local church, breaking fellowship, or some kind of further study may be appropriate.  Cases of egregious unrepentant sin among the leadership may also be a time to break fellowship, after the appropriate course of action has taken place.  (See Matthew 18:15-18.)    False teaching too.  But to toss up your hands and say your are done with any kind of Christian gathering only to trade it in for a cult community of your own making because you don't prefer what's offered is a very different thing.

Nowhere does the Bible speak of a Christian who rejects Christ's Bride, the Church.  It's quite the opposite in fact.

For example, Paul opens his letter to the Philippians as follows: "To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are at Philippi, with the overseers and deacons" (Philippians 1:1b, ESV, italics added for emphasis.) Paul says these saints are with the leaders and servants, not consumers of the goods and services the leaders provide or members of their social club.  The saints are in community together.  Many of Paul's letters open with this picture of community centered around the gospel called the local church.  He also talks about the necessity of being part of the body, one body with many parts.  His explanation of communion and his rebuke for the local church that shows favoritism toward the rich show Paul's concern and care for community within the local church.  John's third letter is to an individual and yet it still seems to suggest that Gaius is part of a larger community.  John's second letter is also to an individual and here he's calling this lady to hold fast to the teaching of Christ.  Christ didn't ever tell anybody to be a solitary loaner or gather in a community that is held together with bonds other than the love of Christ.  Christ is building his Church and the local churches are a part if they hold to Christ and his teachings.  Christ is so serious about the Church that we often see the Church called the Bride of Christ, that is, Christ's special love.  Men are called to love their wives as Christ loves the Church, the Church Jesus died for (Ephesians 5:25).  There are many accounts of the believers eating and praying together, and being sanctified into Christ's likeness through those with whom they are in community.  And these groups don't appear to be splinter groups rejecting the Church.  

This post-Church movement raises a number of questions. 

Were these disgruntled individuals actually Christians, or were they simply members of a social club for social reasons?  Or maybe they were moralists and what they walked away from is not what they think they rejected because they were never truly a part of the Body in the first place?

Do these "post-Church" gatherings bring about sanctification and Christ-likeness or are these groups more about filling the community void?

How much does a member of the Nones hear from God and speak to him, read from his Word, worship, and grow?  The Bible is the only book that reads us.  From within it's pages we should experience transformation and sometimes that transformation is difficult and even painful.  Is the post-Church experience bringing about gospel-centered change or is it all just a happy bed of roses that eventually leads to self-worship?

Is the exodus from the local church about pride?  Is there a lack of humility?  Is there fear to talk with with leadership about a problem?  If the leadership did not listen, was there any self-reflection to see if personal repentance was necessary? And if personal repentance or pride are not the issue and it may be a legitimate time to break fellowship, is there a fear or laziness or cowardice to find the healthy local church body God may be calling them to?

What is the end result of the post-Church movement?  Is it drawing people closer to Christ or further away?

If you are reading this because you are post-Church, call yourself a None, or are concerned about a friend or family member, I know that there are local churches that hurt people, and that is tragic!  If you have been hurt by fellow Christians, I'd like to recommend a book called The Exquisite Agony (originally titled Crucified by Christians) by Gene Edwards.  I hope that at some point you can find healing from this pain as well as find a fantastic body of believers with which to fellowship and grow.  If it is not about a hurt, might it be about pride?  If so, is this pride really helping you or is it self destructive?  If you do still call yourself a Christian but struggle with the local church, pray about where to connect.  Ask Jesus to show you his Bride in a new way.  And by all means, don't give up!  God has a great fellowship of believers out there for you.  Hang in there and keep praying!


If this article connected with you in any way, encouraged you, or made you angry, you are more than welcome to contact me to share your story, ask questions, complain, or seek help finding a local body.  Or if you don't call yourself a Christian but would like to find out more about becoming one, you can contact me too.  Click here. 

No Sex Outside of Marriage, Really?

In our society, especially in the West, sex is a really big deal.  It seems to define many relationships, although it is usually the act of sex that is important rather than the relationship itself.  But the Bible says the relationship comes first and places an extremely high view of marriage. Some however, have a difficult time seeing marriage for what it is; and others  even say that as long as the couple is monogamous, it doesn't matter if they are married.

Genesis 2:23-25 shows us a picture of the ideal and it looks fairly different than the arguments of society.  God provides the ideal and principle for marriage, even calling the woman the man’s “wife.”  This first marriage is a union far superior than simply a sex act.

As we read further in the Old Testament, we find many positive instances of man and women being joined in marriage and then they have sex.  Sex comes as a result of marriage, not a precursor to it. We also see many negative instances of men having sex with women whom they are not married to. The former is written about positively and the latter is viewed negatively and sinful.

However, it is the New Testament epistles that provide the clearest instruction on this matter for Christians today.

1 Corinthians 7:1-5 demonstrates that sex apart from one in a covenant relationship with his or her spouse is wrong. The idea is that because people cannot control themselves outside of marriage (and it would likely prove too difficult to abstain entirely as it seems the Corinthians may have inquired of Paul), a man should have a wife and a woman a husband so they can fulfill their passions in a moral way rather than in a way that is sexually immoral.  If a husband or wife is required to have moral sex, than a marriage must be required to have husband or wife.  A monogamous sex partner is simply not enough.  The wedding, not sex, that is the process of making the covenant. Sex is the consummation of the covenant as seen repeatedly in the Old Testament.

Hebrews 13:4 says that the marriage bed should not be defiled but honored. God judges the sexually immoral and adulterers. Adultery is not only defined by cheating on someone, but sex outside of marriage. And given the picture of the great love between a man and wife in the Song of Solomon, it would seem that sexual immorality would be more about those having sex outside of the loving, caring, consensual, beautiful, God honoring marriage.  The act of sex is not the thing that honors God, but the marital relationship itself. And within this marital relationship, sex can honor God as well.  Outside of a marriage bed, sex is a defiling act.

It must also be noted that God repeatedly condemns sexual immorality and both Hebrews 13:4 and 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 define any sex outside of a marriage covenant as sexually immoral. (Examples of God commanding his people to remain free from sexual immorality include: Acts 15:20, 1 Corinthians 5:1, 1 Corinthians 6:13, 1 Corinthians 6:18, 1 Corinthians 10:8, 2 Corinthians 12:21, Galatians 5:19, Ephesians 5:3, Colossians 3:5, 1 Thessalonians 4:3, and Jude 7.) Therefore, sex is only acceptable to God inside the marriage covenant.

*Photo of rings taken by Flickr.com user, FotoRita and is licensed under  a creative commons license.

Divorce (Re-posted)

[As we discussed divorce on Salty Believer Unscripted, I thought I would repost and article from SaltyBeliever.com that was written more than two years ago.  If you're not subscribed to Salty Believer Unscripted, find it on iTunes or subscribe here.  You can listen to our podcast on divorce here.]  


Not too long ago, I was asked "Is it okay to get divorced?"  This is a huge question.

We first need to ask what is meant by "okay." If okay means entry or exclusion from heaven, I want to be very clear: getting a divorce or staying married has no baring on entrance to heaven or hell or one's ability to pray to God.  Even one sin without Christ's grace will keep a person out of heaven. Faith and surrender to Jesus Christ, who he says he is, and in his death and resurrection dictates entering heaven or being cast to hell.  This is the key to entry in to heaven, not any work, like staying married. Without Christ, even one sin is "not okay." However, we all sin (act in ways that are contrary to God's wishes for us), a lot. If we need to discuss this in more detail, please feel free to contact me.

So then the real question is if you were considering divorce, and God were sitting with us having coffee, how would he advise you in your situation. If this is you, I recommend you put lots of time to honest prayer, just as if he were sitting with you having coffee. Ask him what you might do to improve your marriage. Ask him to show you areas in your own life that may need repentance.  Ask him how you can show your spouse grace.  Ask him to fix your marriage. After you've had that conversation for a while, and if you feel that his involvement and advice is making no difference, ask him why. If you are already praying about this, pray more.

In the Bible, God presents his ideal. His ideal is that people remain married. And if not for humanity's ugly brokenness, we'd all meet this ideal with little effort. But because of the mess that we are, we have to work at it--some much more than others. The entire Bible is full of stories about people trying to work together in some kind of relationship. Paul writes letters to entire churches trying to help them have healthy relationships in work, play, marriage, etc. Obviously, it's hard and it's messy to meet this ideal.

God wants us to meet his ideal, but we won't, we can't. We are too messed up. This is why Christ died. So now we can find grace in our mess, through Jesus.

The overly religious people of Jesus' day, the Pharisees, came to Jesus and asked him if it was okay for anybody to get a divorce. (You can read about this in Matthew 19:1-9 and Mark 10:1-11.) Here's how it went down (I'm greatly paraphrasing):

Religious people: Is it against God's Law to divorce your wife for any reason?

Jesus: Haven't you read the Law? [He's referring to the Scriptures, specifically to what the Jews called The Law, the first 5 books of the Old Testament, written by Moses. These 5 books include lots of stories; it is not just a book of rules like we think of the law today]. God created men and women to be together. A man should leave his family and get married. He should hold fast to his wife. [Paul once wrote that a man should love his wife like Christ loves the church, and Christ died for the church!] God has joined them together so nobody should separate them. (See Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:6, Ephesians 5:23-33.)

[Jesus pointed out the ideal and expressed that it should be taken seriously.]

Religious people: Oh really, than why did Moses say a man can divorce his wife? [They were trying to trap Jesus or demonstrate that he was teaching counter to the Scriptures.]

Jesus: It's because you have a hard heart. [This is his way of pointing out our ugly, brokenness.] But it was not intended to be this way from the beginning. But you should know, anyone who gets divorced outside of infidelity will commit adultery.

Jesus also explained that even the very act of looking with lust at another person is committing adultery with that person (Matthew 5:28). I am not saying that committing adultery is okay with God; in fact, the opposite is true and society's definition of adultery and God's definition are quite different.  However, you should understand how it's being discussed in the Bible. And ultimately, the religious people were asking if a person will still be okay with God if they got divorced. Jesus is our intermediary so we can always be right with God through Jesus, divorced or not.

That being said, divorce is against the ideal; it's against God's desires for us. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). The Bible teaches that we should not take the matter lightly; and if you are considering divorce, you should try at all cost to work through the messiness.

Maybe this is not the answer you wanted to hear, and that's okay.  I realize I didn't give a simple yes or no, but that's because it is not a simple matter. I suggest that you go back to that table at the coffeehouse and talk with God often.  Read his Word in the Bible.  Pray. Communicate with your spouse. And pray together.

*Photo taken by Flickr user, jcoterhals, is registered under a Creative Commons license.

His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley

Many a bride and groom have listened to passages of Scripture at the marriage ceremony—Christian or not. Often the passage will come from 1 Corinthians 13; but if not from there, it may be something from 1 John, Colossians, Ephesians, Ecclesiastes, or even Genesis. This Scripture reading is good, of course, but how many young men and women really understand their own relational needs, let alone the needs of their spouse? And as the wedding day fades into history, the realities of the relationship eventually settle in. His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage is Willard F. Harley, Jr.’s bold attempt to address these needs.

Harley addresses ten needs—five belong primarily at the top of the man’s list and five entirely different needs at the top of the list belonging to the woman—which are often found starving in relationships soon to be or already marred by an adulterous affair. Chapter by chapter he boldly shines a spotlight into areas that often are felt but not regularly examined or discussed. His approach at times seems controversial in the modern western society; however, his book is well read and any married reader will likely sense some truth in Harley’s observations. “The Purpose of this book,” writes Harley, “is to teach you how to discover, and then learn to meet, each other’s most important emotional needs.”[1]

Harley untimely opens his work with a hard-hitting question. He asks his reader to examine how affair-proof his or her own marriage presently might be. The reader in a healthy marriage might jump to the idea that she is in a strong marriage free from the threat of an affair, and the reader in a marriage taking blows from the effects of cheating will most likely resent the question. But even the strongest-willed men and women can and will face the threat and temptation of an affair. “Some men never give in;” argues Harley, “they manage to make the best of it over the years. But many do succumb to the temptation of an affair.”[2] An affair may happen to anybody if the needs of one spouse or the other are not being met. When the Love Bank Account is low or empty and the future of deposits from the spouse is dim, the ability to have needs fulfilled from another almost seems to slip in unnoticed. At the conclusion of one example that started with harmless chitchat and a polite hug, Harley says, “Jolene simple felt so starved for affection that she was literally hugged into have an affair!”[3]

While not every person or every relationship is the same, through many years of counseling, Harley has discovered ten common needs among men and women. When ranked, men and women seem to prioritize these completely opposite of their spouse’s list.[4] The difficulty then is found in the reality that in thinking they are doing good each spouse attempts to fulfill the needs that actually reside at the bottom of their mate’s list rather than those most important to their spouse.

The woman’s needs are generally affection, conversation, honestly and openness, financial support, and family commitment. According to Harley, “A husband can make himself irresistible to his wife by learning to meet her five most important emotional needs.”[5] Interestingly, the man on hot pursuit of a wife will typically demonstrate these well in the courting phase of the relationship, only to shift modes in an attempt to meet five other needs. Thinking he and his wife have the same needs, he will begin trying to fulfill the same top five on his list. His wife will then be left feeling used or unloved. And when this happens, she will attempt to resolve the problem by striving to provide her husband with the things that are at the top of her list, not his. What is on his top five? Sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, physical attractiveness, domestic support and admiration.

In a simple back-and-forth format, Harley addresses the man and the woman’s top five needs. He starts with affection, the woman’s top need. Then he goes to the man and explains sexual fulfillment. This continues onward until he has spent a chapter dealing with all ten needs typically found in the martial relationship. Each of these chapters almost appears to be written to the opposite spouse. It is as if when he is dealing with affection, he is explaining to the man what the woman needs because the man is clueless while the woman has felt her husband should have known this all along. But with a new chapter comes a change and the explanation is provided to the woman. This book has been written not to the husband or wife, but to the couple. “I encourage you and your spouse to read these books together,” urges Harley, “complete the questionnaires, and answer the questions at the end of each chapter.”[6] In addition, Harley knows that affair-proofing is not just as simple as reading this book and discussing the content as many chapters encourage, it is a process. He writes, “Keep these books in a place where you can refer to them regularly, because you should be reminded of the lessons they will teach you.”[7]


His Needs, Her Needs should hit close to home for most couples because Harley addresses the needs of a man and woman in ways many marriage books do not. In fact, many people may find the content of Harley’s work offensive. His worldview clearly does not align with the modern western idea that men and women are exactly the same. He presents a portrait of men and women as equal in value but very different in their needs. However, his supporting arguments for these differences are compelling. His examples are convincing. And his observations seem reasonable, although not cited or supported with anything other than his personal twenty years counseling with couples. It is difficult to know if his observations are universal or if there are cultural, religious, geographical, or socioeconomic factors that may influence relationships in ways he may not have observed. In this way, Harley does not appear objective, but this is not to say that his observations are wrong, simply that he wrote more for the masses rather than for an academic audience.

Another difficulty with His Needs, Her Needs, is found in how much the blame for an extra-marital affair almost seems to be placed on the spouse not meeting the needs rather than the person having the actual affair. The idea that the spouse should communicate his or her needs with his or her partner is hinted at in nearly every chapter and the discussion questions that conclude each chapter demand this; however, the argument still stands: when the needs are not met, affairs may happen. But one cannot meet his or her own needs. It is the job of the partner to meet the needs. Therefore, the finger seems too eager to point in the wrong direction. It may not be the feeling or intention of Harley, but the feeling exists nonetheless.

Despite some of the negative aspects of His Needs, Her Needs or maybe the oversight, this book is still fantastic in addressing feelings and needs that may simply rest just below the surface of most marital relationships. Harley does not shy away from difficult realities. And this is what makes His Needs, Her Needs a necessary and valuable book for couples hoping to marry, those who counsel couples, and anybody who is married—regardless if for only six months or for forty years.


1. WillardF Harley, Jr., His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage(Grand Rapids, MI: Revell, 2011), 15.

2. Ibid., 17-19.

3. Ibid., 37

4. Ibid., 18.

5. Ibid., 200.

6. Ibid., 16.

7. Ibid.


* I have no material connection to this book and am receiving no monetary compensation for this review.
** The original review was used to meet the partial requirement in the completion of an M.Div. This review has been redacted for this post.

What is the Kingdom of God?

I once taught a class where the kingdom of God was of chief interest.  For the sake of time, we didn't read all of the Scriptures listed below, but I did print this material as a handout to the class and I felt it would be worth posting here.  The question at hand is, what is the Bible referring to when it mentions the kingdom of God? 

 

THE KINGDOM OF GOD

A Systematic View

The kingdom of God (nearly interchangeable with kingdom of heaven, kingdom of Christ, kingdom of our Lord, and sometimes just the kingdom) is discussed often throughout the Bible. It can seem complex, because it is inside creation, outside creation, and above creation. Like the Trinity of God, there is no earthy analogy to adequately describe it. Presently, we only see it in bits and pieces but our understanding of it comes through faith.

“[The kingdom of God] is simply the reign of God in human hearts wherever obedience to God is found.”¹

The Kingdom of God is not the Church. “The Kingdom is primarily the dynamic reign or kingly rule of God, and, derivatively, the sphere in which the rule is experienced. In the biblical idiom, the Kingdom is not identified with its subjects. They are the people of God’s rule who enter it, live under it, and are governed by it. The church is the community of the Kingdom but never the Kingdom itself. Jesus’ disciples belong to the Kingdom as the Kingdom belongs to them; but they are not the Kingdom. The Kingdom is the rule of God; the church is a society of men.”²

The kingdom of God (or kingdom of heaven) is not strictly speaking of the afterlife or future place or future existence. It has an “already/not yet” aspect about it present in many of the discussions about it throughout the Bible.

The kingdom of God should not be mistaken with the sovereignty or rule of God. God is sovereign over all of creation. However, presently, one can be inside or outside of the kingdom of God. And we do not truly, positively experience it until we are within the kingdom of God.

There are 66 uses of “kingdom of God” in the New Testament. There is no Hebrew use of this term that translates into English as “kingdom of God.” (Matt 6:33; 12:28; 19:24; 21:31, 43; Mark 1:15; 4:11, 26, 30; 9:1, 47; 10:14–15, 23–25; 12:34; 14:25; 15:43; Luke 4:43; 6:20; 7:28; 8:1, 10; 9:2, 11, 27, 60, 62; 10:9, 11; 11:20; 13:18, 20, 28–29; 14:15; 16:16; 17:20–21; 18:16–17, 24–25, 29; 19:11; 21:31; 22:16, 18; 23:51; John 3:3, 5; Acts 1:3; 8:12; 14:22; 19:8; 28:23, 31; Rom 14:17; 1 Cor 4:20; 6:9–10; 15:50; Gal 5:21; Col 4:11; 2 Th 1:5.)

There are 32 uses of “kingdom of heaven” in the New Testament. There is no Hebrew use of this term that translates into English as “kingdom of heaven.” (Matt 3:2; 4:17; 5:3, 10, 19–20; 7:21; 8:11; 10:7; 11:11–12; 13:11, 24, 31, 33, 44–45, 47, 52; 16:19; 18:1, 3–4, 23; 19:12, 14, 23; 20:1; 22:2; 23:13; 25:1.)

There are 2 uses of “kingdom of our Lord” in the New Testament. (2 Pet 1:11; Rev 11:15.) There is no Hebrew use of this term that translates into English as “kingdom of our Lord.”

There are 3 uses of “gospel of the kingdom” in the New Testament, and all of which are found in Matthew. (Matt 4:23; 9:35; 24:14). There is no Hebrew use of this term that translates into English as “gospel of the kingdom.” Matthew also uses the “word of the kingdom” in Matt 13:19.

There is 1 use of “The kingdom of Christ and God” and it’s found in Eph 5:5.

Not every use for kingdom without the various above qualifiers in the New Testament is referring to the kingdom of God, but many do. (There are 55 uses of kingdom not followed by either "of God" or "of heaven.") Significant examples include Matt 4:23; 6:10; 8:12; 9:35; 13:19, 38, 41, 43; 16:28; 20:21; 24:14; 25:34; 26:29; Mark 11:10; Luke 1:33; 11:2; 12:31–32; 22:29–30; 23:42; John 18:36; Acts 20:25; 1 Cor 15:24; Col 1:13; 2 Tim 4:18; Heb 1:8; 12:28; James 2:5; 2 Pet 1:11; Rev 1:6; 5:10; and 12:10.

The Hebrew word for kingdom is used though the Old Testament mostly for earthly kingdoms but there are references to the Kingdom of God. Examples include: Ex 19:6 (Kingdom of Priests), 2 Sam 7:10–16 & 1 Chr 17:9–14 (near/far picture of Kingdom), Psa 45:6; 103:19; 145:11–13 (Blurred lines between Sovereign rule and the Kingdom of God), Dan 4:3 (everlasting Kingdom), and Dan 7:18, 22 (future view of the Kingdom).

___

1 Millard J. Erickson, Christian Theology, 2^nd Ed. (Grand Rapids, Mich: Baker Academic, 1998), 1163.

2 George Ladd, A Theology of the New Testament; quoted by Wayne Grudem, Systematic Theology: An Introduction to Biblical Doctrine (Grand Rapids, Mich: Zondervan, 1994), 863.

* Photo by Niall McAuley is registered under a creative commons license.

Love Wins by Rob Bell (Preface)

[This review is a review in parts.  If you are just joining this review, start with "Love Wins by Rob Bell (Prolegomena)."]

I remember a time in my own life when I was younger and trying to understand my critique of what I thought Christians were compared to what I thought they should be.  I would often see something I didn't care for within the social aspects of the American Christian church and then suggest that what I saw as not biblical or was somehow not at all in-line with what Jesus might have taught.  I say "might" because honestly, I wasn't reading God's Word much and I certainly wasn't submitting my life to its authority.  Instead, I was trying to make Christianity what I wanted it to be so I could call myself a Christian.  Looking back, it's clear to me now that I wanted to stand in God's place, and I believed that the people I was critiquing, the Church--the very Bride of Christ (John 3:29, Ephesians 5:23, Revelation 21:2, 9)--had "hijacked" real Christianity.  They had mutated the real story of the Bible, or so I thought when I looked in from where I was at that point in my life.  So you can imagine what ran through my mind when on the very first page of the preface I read that Jesus' story has been "hijacked" (vi).

Following the claim that there has been a hijacking, Bell seems to suggest that the traditionally taught idea that, "a select few Christians will spend forever in a peaceful, joyous place called heaven, while the rest of humanity spends forever in torment and punishment in hell with no chance for anything better," is misguided and toxic to Jesus' message of love, peace, and forgiveness (vii).  If I could send this book back through history to the me I just described above, that Bryan would hit these very first pages and instantly fall in love with the book.  Being in such agreement, the Bryan of the past would then likely find himself continually nodding with every paragraph, eating up every word.

What's strange however, is that there is no suggestion, no hint (at least in the prologue) as to when or why this serious hijacking happened.  But there is no reason to think this particular response to the alleged hijacking is new.  Instead, Bell implies that this teaching has always been around as part of the historic, orthodox Christian faith.  It's an "ancient, ongoing discussion surrounding the resurrected Jesus" (x-xi).  It's a "deep, wide, and diverse" conversation according to Bell (x-xi). It is my hope that subsequent chapters will address this hijacking because this is a serious claim to place upon people that are part of Jesus' Church.  Or I guess it could be directed at those Bell believes do not stand with Jesus; it's tough to tell because this hijacking was just sort of slipped in without much explanation. 

At this point, Bell seems to suggest that the idea that only a few will enter heaven is deplorable (viii).  This is not to say that Bell will hold this position throughout the remainder of his book, but that's the impression I'm left with at this point.  This statement however, leaves me very curious about how Bell will approach this idea in light of Luke 13:23-24, where someone asks of Jesus if only a few will be saved.  Jesus replies, "Strive to enter through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able" (Luke 13:24, ESV).  It could be that the issue Rob is having is not the idea of only a few entering heaven, but maybe something else.  I suppose I'll find out as I move further into the book. 

But Bell does make some good points in his preface.  He is quick to point out that some communities do not allow for healthy discussion of tough questions.  In this, he is right.  He goes on to say, "There is no question that Jesus cannot handle, no discussion too volatile, no issue too dangerous.  [...] Jesus frees us to call things what they are" (x).  Again, Bell is right.  Therefore, I feel that Bell is giving me permission to examine what follows in this book by the same standard. And I also agree with Bell in that it will be thrilling if this book brings people into open discussion about this important topic, no matter how vibrant, diverse, or messy (xi).

It should also be noted that this discussion of the preface looks to be almost as long, if not longer than the preface itself.

Next up, "Love Wins by Rob Bell (Chapter 1)."

*I have no material connection to Rob Bell or his book. 

Music Makes the People Come Together

Introduction. Of the non-essential to salvation matters where Christians disagree, the type and style of music in the Church for worship (or otherwise) has been a hot topic, maybe in your church, the hottest. At times, this disagreement settles down and at other times, it surfaces with a roar. Fights develop over questions like hymns or contemporary music style. Organ or drums; how big should the choir be, if there should be one; to what extent should the lyrics be evaluated theologically; at what level should the volume be set; how many songs; when; how much music; who is qualified to lead the choir or band? Sadly, these matters have split churches and fractured fellowship among communities of believers. These disagreements however, do not negate the fact that Paul told the Ephesians not to get drunk but instead, “be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 5:18b-20, ESV, italics added for emphasis). Music is an important aspect of the Church, stirring hearts toward God to give thanks and praise. Therefore, a strong music ministry is a necessity for the local church.

What is Music Ministry and Why. In her song “Music,” Madonna sings, “It's like riding on the wind, and it never goes away. Touches everything I'm in, got to have it everyday. Music makes the people come together” (Madonna 2000). Although her secular song is about music, she still captures the power that music has to move us deeply in our souls and communicate a certain beauty between one another that is not easily shared in other forms. And in this way, people can communicate that moving beauty with God; while at the same time, the Holy Spirit can use music to stir our hearts and affections toward our Creator. (It is worth noting that because music does stir us so deeply, it also has the ability to stir other emotions and potentially turn us away from God, shifting our affection toward a false idol.)

A good music ministry helps bring people into a place where they can openly worship God. Hymns or songs can be selected to work in conjunction with the sermon or teaching. While the worshiper speaks to God through music, God also uses music to speak to the worshiper. In addition, music serves as a way to worship throughout daily activities, so teaching songs and hymns helps the congregation take their praise and thanksgiving everywhere, and into everything they do.

Typically, a music ministry leader will have a selection of songs that are used regularly. The lyrics may be projected on a screen or the printed in the program. If hymns are used, hymnals should be available. Some churches will print the lyrics of music into a booklet to simplify worship in settings were screens are not available, not necessary, or not wanted. And a music ministry affords people the opportunity to use their gifts and talents to play an instrument, sing, dance, run sound boards, or write songs.

A strong leader is necessary for music ministry. Partly because music is a powerful way that the gospel is ministered in the lives of both believers and non-believers, but also because the music ministry is an area where it seems everybody as an opinion and often wants it done their preferred way. Criswell says “Of course everybody will want the organ softer or louder. Everybody will want different music. The church that has a broad spectrum of music presented in its worship services will have all of the people quite happy most of the time (we hope!)” (Criswell 1980, 191). It is arguable that appeasing people to make them happy should not be a requirement of a music ministry, but Criswell is right in that there will be competing desires among the members of the church. Therefore, the leader of the music ministry needs to be capable of leading in such an environment.

Examples of Music Ministry. The most obvious example of music ministry is the leading of worship during corporate services, but there are other ways to use music ministry. Worship gatherings made up of a few local churches are one example. Having a concert and barbecue in the street is another. Some churches offer music workshops to children. And finally, incorporating other art forms with the music, such as dance, poetry, painting and sculpting, and theater can have a powerful impact on those coming together to worship. It is important however, that no matter what type of style of music, the music ministry serves to point to God, not to become the focal point of the worship. The band should be insignificant in light of the worship and the one being worshiped.


References:
Criswell, W.A. Criswell's Guidebook for Pastors. Nashville, Tenn: Broadman Press, 1980.
Madonna and Mirwais Ahmadzaï. 2000 Music. “Music.” Preformed by Madonna and others.
Warner Brothers. [CD, Track 1]. 

*Photo by Any Burnfield is registered under a Creative Commons License. 

Ministry Gifts Inventory?

Introduction. Ministry gift inventory tests are often a double-edged sword. On the one side, they can help a person zero in and understand personal and gifted strengths valuable to service within the local church. The other side of the sword however, is that by their very nature, they are limiting and impersonal, often providing an either/or list from which to identify gifts. “Ministry Gifts Inventory” by Michael Miller is just such a double-edged sword. In what follows, I will discuss this particular test and then identify my results from taking two tests separated by three months.  I will also discuss what I believe is a stronger method of understanding of individual spiritual gifts.

The Test. The test offered in “Ministry Gifts Inventory” (Lifeway Church Resources) is a self-test based on self-selected answers to 72 questions. Each answer is a range from, “I am seldom or never this way” to “I am this way most or all of the time.” The answers correspond to a point system from 0 to 4. The 72 questions attempt to identify twelve different spiritual gifted areas for ministry. On page 6, the Overview makes it clear that this test is not intended to completely cover spiritual gifts and gifted offices as discussed in the Bible. Miller writes, “The inventory is not designed to be an exhaustive analysis of spiritual gifts. Its purpose is to highlight areas of strength based on what you feel motivates you spiritually and to enable you to pinpoint areas of ministry for which you are gifted.” The gifts and gifted offices in First Corinthians 12 include prophet/prophecy, word of wisdom, word of knowledge, faith, healing, miracles, discernment (or distinguishing of spirits), teacher, miracles, healings, helps, administration, tongues, and interpretation of tongues. Ephesians 4:11 adds evangelist and pastor/teacher to the list. Romans 12 adds serving, encouraging, leadership, and mercy. Some hold that 1 Corinthians 7:7 argues that marriage and celibacy are gifts. Others argue that exorcism is a spiritual gift based on Matthew 12:28; Luke 10:17, 20; Acts 8:7; and Acts 16:18.  And some say that 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 incorporates voluntary poverty and martyrdom as spiritual gifts.

Given that there does not seem to be one exhaustive list in the Bible, the gift list appear somewhat fluid; however, all of the listed gifts seem to be sovereignly gifted to the recipient for corporate use in the Church and for the Church, suggesting the same for any other perceived gift not listed. Miller’s test identifies the gifts only as administration, evangelism, exhortation, giving, helps, hospitality, leadership, mercy, prophecy, service, shepherding, and teaching. The test ranks them, suggesting the higher scored areas are the test-taker’s spiritual gifts.

My Results. In the first or second week of June 2010 (I failed to document the exact date of the test), I made copies of Miller’s “Ministry Gifts Inventory” and then took the test. On July 29th, I took the test again without first reviewing my previous results. (From this point forward, I will call these Test 1 and Test 2, respectively.) My average score per gift area on Test 1 was 14.4. On Test 2 it was only 12.5. (Each area as a maximum score of 18.) My top two gifts on both tests were first teaching (with a score of 18) followed by shepherding (scoring at 17). My bottom gift on both tests was giving. The various other gifts jostled in position slightly, but there was never more than a single position shift. The next top gifts (although shifted in position) were leadership, administration, and prophecy.

A Better Test. The problem with Miller’s self-test is that it is self-selection. What often occurs with a self-selection test is that a person answers as they see themselves rather than how reality sees them. For example, I may really want to be a teacher or really believe I am a good teacher, but in reality, I could be terrible. How many times do people feel they have the gift of preaching but they do not communicate well? How many times have I heard someone say they have a gift of decrement or wisdom only to find that they often miss obvious information that would greatly help them make good choices? This is because of self-selection or self-identification. In addition, there are times when people completely overlook something they are absolutely gifted with because they assume everybody has the same gift or skill level.

A better way to understand spiritual gifts takes more time and effort, but the results are often much more accurate. The process starts with prayer, asking God to identify the areas he has uniquely gifted the inquirer for the benefit of Church or God’s purposes. Then the person should list all those things he or she enjoys doing, at church or not. And he or she should make a list of things he or she is good at, likely better than most people, even if he or she does not enjoy doing these tasks. Before analysis should happen however, the person should ask his or her closest Christian friends and family to honestly identify those areas where the person is talented and seems spiritually gifted. They should also indicate areas where they see strong potential.  The inquirer should request that they include prayer in this process. After a few people have answered, the lists can be compared. Generally, similarities will surface, presenting a person’s actual spiritual gifting. The key is close friendships with people who know the inquirer well and honesty answer these questions.

It is important that these lists not be limited to the “standard” list we too often associate with spiritual gifts. It could be that a person’s talent falls within the list, but many times, they do not. We do not see “artist” on the “standard” list, but how much blessing comes to the church through design and art today? Music is the same way. Baking and food preparation? Dance? Writing? Security? Computer programing?  Database management?  Video and sound editing?  Construction?  Investing?  God may have gifted a person to design and build affordable housing so that he or she could go on an overseas mission to bless people in need. Or a person may be gifted in security to protect an overseas operation. These are all gifts given by God.And there are many, many more.

Conclusion. For some, understanding spiritual gifts is difficult. I often feel that I do not fully grasp or understand my spiritual gifts. For others it is extremely obvious. One place to start is through a simple gift inventory test, as limiting as it may be. The next place to understand and grow spiritual gifts is in community. I have found Miller’s test insightful, but I will also continue to lean on my community in order to identify and grow my spiritual gifts.

* I have no material connection to this book. This post was, in its entirety or in part, originally written in seminary in partial fulfillment of a M.Div. It may have been redacted or modified for this website.  

Is it 'Okay' to Get Divorced?

Not too long ago, I was asked "Is it okay to get divorced?"  This is a huge question.

We first need to ask what is meant by "okay." If okay means entry or exclusion from heaven, I want to be very clear: getting a divorce or staying married has no baring on entrance to heaven or hell or one's ability to pray to God.  Even one sin without Christ's grace will keep a person out of heaven. Faith and surrender to Jesus Christ, who he says he is, and in his death and resurrection dictates entering heaven or being cast to hell.  This is the key to entry in to heaven, not any work, like staying married. Without Christ, even one sin is "not okay." However, we all sin (act in ways that are contrary to God's wishes for us), a lot. If we need to discuss this in more detail, please feel free to contact me.

So then the real question is if you were considering divorce, and God were sitting with us having coffee, how would he advise you in your situation. If this is you, I recommend you put lots of time to honest prayer, just as if he were sitting with you having coffee. Ask him what you might do to improve your marriage. Ask him to show you areas in your own life that may need repentance.  Ask him how you can show your spouse grace.  Ask him to fix your marriage. After you've had that conversation for a while, and if you feel that his involvement and advice is making no difference, ask him why. If you are already praying about this, pray more.

In the Bible, God presents his ideal. His ideal is that people remain married. And if not for humanity's ugly brokenness, we'd all meet this ideal with little effort. But because of the mess that we are, we have to work at it--some much more than others. The entire Bible is full of stories about people trying to work together in some kind of relationship. Paul writes letters to entire churches trying to help them have healthy relationships in work, play, marriage, etc. Obviously, it's hard and it's messy to meet this ideal.

God wants us to meet his ideal, but we won't, we can't. We are too messed up. This is why Christ died. So now we can find grace in our mess, through Jesus.

The overly religious people of Jesus' day, the Pharisees, came to Jesus and asked him if it was okay for anybody to get a divorce. (You can read about this in Matthew 19:1-9 and Mark 10:1-11.) Here's how it went down (I'm greatly paraphrasing):

Religious people: Is it against God's Law to divorce your wife for any reason?

Jesus: Haven't you read the Law? [He's referring to the Scriptures, specifically to what the Jews called The Law, the first 5 books of the Old Testament, written by Moses. These 5 books include lots of stories; it is not just a book of rules like we think of the law today]. God created men and women to be together. A man should leave his family and get married. He should hold fast to his wife. [Paul once wrote that a man should love his wife like Christ loves the church, and Christ died for the church!] God has joined them together so nobody should separate them. (See Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:6, Ephesians 5:23-33.)

[Jesus pointed out the ideal and expressed that it should be taken seriously.]

Religious people: Oh really, than why did Moses say a man can divorce his wife? [They were trying to trap Jesus or demonstrate that he was teaching counter to the Scriptures.]

Jesus: It's because you have a hard heart. [This is his way of pointing out our ugly, brokenness.] But it was not intended to be this way from the beginning. But you should know, anyone who gets divorced outside of infidelity will commit adultery.

Jesus also explained that even the very act of looking with lust at another person is committing adultery with that person (Matthew 5:28). I am not saying that committing adultery is okay with God; in fact, the opposite is true and society's definition of adultery and God's definition are quite different.  However, you should understand how it's being discussed in the Bible. And ultimately, the religious people were asking if a person will still be okay with God if they got divorced. Jesus is our intermediary so we can always be right with God through Jesus, divorced or not.

That being said, divorce is against the ideal; it's against God's desires for us. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). The Bible teaches that we should not take the matter lightly; and if you are considering divorce, you should try at all cost to work through the messiness.

Maybe this is not the answer you wanted to hear, and that's okay.  I realize I didn't give a simple yes or no, but that's because it is not a simple matter. I suggest that you go back to that table at the coffeehouse and talk with God often.  Read his Word in the Bible.  Pray. Communicate with your spouse. And pray together.

*Photo taken by Flickr user, jcoterhals, is registered under a Creative Commons license.

Self-Help Marriage Books

I just read and evaluated a book on marriage for a class.  With all due respect to those who have tried, a book on making a marriage successful is usually a gross over simplification, and often constructed on a sandy foundation. At best, it builds on no foundation; at worst, it elevates a successful marriage into a position above God. The reason has everything to do with the focus. Too often, the mindset is that two people, through self-regulated behavior, can build and maintain a positive relationship with one another. While it is true that relationship management is the reason for many successful marriages, it is not how God teaches on marriage.

Dr. John Gottman has contributed to the body of nearly secular self-help marriage books. His book, Why Marriages Succeed and or Fail is informative and helpful but still misses God’s primary starting point of all successful marriages. It doesn't build upon a solid foundation.

Here's what often goes overlooked, even by many Christian authors and publishers: Genesis outlines God’s creation of the covenant relationship between a man and a woman--marriage. He created it, and therefore he alone gets to define it. In making man and woman in the image of the triune God, men and women are created to be in interpersonal relationship with God, but also with one another. Genesis 2:24 reads, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh,” showing the parting of one relationship in order to enter into a physically and spiritually profound marital union. Jesus builds upon our understanding of this union saying, “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6, ESV). Paul teaches in 1 Corinthians 7 that it is a sin for a man and woman to become “one flesh” out side of marriage, demonstrating that there is more than the mere physical in the act of sexual relations. And Romans 6:2 indicates that the marriage covenant is a life-long covenant.

But much of the New Testament biblical teaching on marriage is actually used as symbolism to either show Christ’s Kingly reign, a proper relationship between Christ and man, or the relationship between Christ and the Church. This symbolism often uses the marriage ceremony or wedding feast (Matthew 22:1-14, Matthew 25:7-12, Luke 22:27-30, John, 2:1-12, John 2:28-29, 2 Corinthians 11:2, Ephesians 5:23-32, and Revelation 19:7-9). One might ask how the symbolism of the wedding and Christ relates to the marriage between a man and a woman today, and the answer is found in understanding the relationships. The Bible clearly demonstrates Christ’s love for the Church, even that he died for her. And man is called to love his bride that much, that is, as much as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:23-33). In addition, Paul says that a man should also love his wife as he loves himself (Ephesians 5:28-30). With that said, it is clear that the Bible holds marriage in a high position, not to be taken lightly. (It is also clear that the marriage or the family unit should not be worshiped as an idol as some do, but this is a discussion for another time.)

As God calls men and women to himself and sanctifies them in preparation of the glory of Kingdom living, we find a need for grace, care, and love in our relationships, especially our marital relationship. Very few of the issues that the marriage self-help books deal with will still be issues after a married couple submits their lives and relationship to God’s grace, care, and love. Often, when the Holy Spirit is working in a marriage and the couple is in submission to God’s will, Gottman’s style of simple self assessment testing and marriage tactics seems silly. In Christ, the married couple comes to understand the difficulty of marriage and the amazing power of God in the marriage covenant. An through this understanding, they can have a beautiful, loving marriage that teaches them more about the nature and character of God.  This is not to say that a couple will never need counseling or help in the marriage, but that they should always keep God's rightful position over their marriage, rather than incorrectly putting the newest trend of self-help in God’s seat.

*Photo by Keith Park, registered under a Creative Commons license. 

Jesus in Public Prayer

Introduction. Occasionally pastors are asked to offer a prayer—usually an invocation or benediction—in a public, secular environment. This is especially true in government settings and a typical duty of a military chaplain. This raises some questions for the Christian minister. Does the Christian minister have the right to pray a specifically “Christian” prayer in these settings? Can a Christian pray without closing the prayer in Jesus’ name? And finally, is there any reason a Christian minister or chaplain should agree to publicly praying in an ecumenical environment where the mention of Jesus is frowned upon or prohibited? These are good questions for the American pastor or chaplain serving in the environment of recent court decisions, the Establishment Clause, the high wall of separation between church and state, and the courts of pubic appeal.

The Minister’s Right. In light of Supreme Court cases like ENGLE v. VITELE, the Christian minister should not assume the right to pray however he wishes when invited to pray in a secular government setting. If the minister is unwilling to remain ecumenical (if requested or expected to do so), he should decline the invitation to pray. The military requires a chaplain to agree to these terms before accepting a commission. Despite how the minister may feel about this, he must remember the words of Jesus, “If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you” (John 15:20, ESV). The minister should be thankful that he is invited to pray in a secular, government environment at all; but he should also pray that one day all will pray in Jesus’ name. The minister’s focus should be on prayer, teaching, evangelism, and service, leaving the distractions of these societal difficulties to the lawyers and politicians (unless of course it comes up for a vote). However, if the minister is invited to pray, he should always feel that he has the right to clarification; and a minister should never be required to pray in this fashion if he is uncomfortable doing so. The military chaplain however, should be prepared to face persecution if he chooses to take this stand.

In Jesus’ Name. Many times throughout the Bible, Jesus instructs his disciples to pray in his name (John 14:13-14, 15:16, 16:23, Ephesians 5:20). But as Grudem says, this instruction “does not simply mean adding the phrase ‘in Jesus’ name’ after every prayer” (Grudem 1994, 379). He continues by arguing that it is not a magic formula for our prayers (Ibid, 379). Instead, praying in Jesus’ name is praying in and with Jesus’ authority. While it is wise to verbally declare that a prayer is said in the authority of Jesus, it is not a Biblical requirement. In fact, of the prayers recorded in the Bible (Matthew 6:9-13, Acts 1:24-25, 4:24-30, 7:59, 9:13-14, 10:14, Revelations 6:10, 22:20), none of them end “in Jesus’ name” (Ibid, 379). In light of these biblical prayers, it seems that an occasional prayer (in a non-Christian government setting) that ends with a simple “Amen” is acceptable.

Why Would a Minister Agree? While ministers and chaplains should hope and pray for a day when everybody makes specifically Christian prayers, reality says this is not the case today. The advantages of accepting an invitation to pray in a non-Christian environment are proximity and presence. Ministers do not often have the access they might have by accepting the invitation to pray. Later, someone the Holy Spirit is convicting may approach the minister for help. And by praying, a reminder is posted that there is indeed a higher power whom which we make supplication. Given title or introduction, people will likely know that the minister is Christian. Chaplains are granted an all-important proximity to soldiers, but only because they are willing to occasionally restrict their language choices in order to pray in the public non-Christian setting. The same is expected of non-Christian chaplains. If Christians refused to pray in this manner, they would be barred access to soldiers, the more significant ministry for the chaplain. The weakness however, is that many will hear this prayer and not understand the importance or necessity of Jesus. This work will likely take more than this single occasion. And a threat comes in the form of compliancy. As the Christian minister makes one concession, there could be expectations that others will be made too. The Christians of the first century went to their deaths for the name of Jesus and actually became a greater witness than if they were to make concessions for access. This should be weighted when making the decision to pray or not, when contemplating the acceptance of a chaplaincy or not.

References:
Grudem, Wayne A. Systematic Theology: An Introduction to Biblical Doctrine. Leicester,
England: Inter-Varsity Press, 1994.

* This post was, in its entirety or in part, originally written in seminary in partial fulfillment of a M.Div. It may have been redacted or modified for this website.  
** Photo of  Stained Glass by Toby Hudson and is registered under a Creative Commons License.